For Autism Families

Y for Yourself First. The A to Z of Conscious Living

A to Z Y
Yourself First

Put your oxygen mask on first before trying to help anyone else with theirs

During the safety demonstration before any flight this is what you are told in the event of an emergency and the oxygen masks are needed. Why do you think we need to get ours on first before helping our loved ones, our children especially?

Simply because we are no good to anyone if we are struggling without oxygen ourselves. When we have oxygen and can breathe we can be calm and able to help and support others so much better.

This analogy is so true in our lives too. To help others we must first be in a place where we are in a position to give, yet what many of us do, mothers particularly, is keep on giving of ourselves so much, putting everyone else before ourselves to the point that we are on the verge of collapse due to self-neglect. Our Script tells us that we are not worthy to be a priority in our lives and that to feel worthy we must put others first. The Script is wrong.

Many of us value being of service to others. In V for values we learn that our values are the top things that we seek to feel the most and by being of service to others we get to feel worthy, loved, appreciated and other such feelings of respect. Yet being of service to others could be done so much better when we are in a good place ourselves. By filling ourselves up first we would have so much more to give.

As a mother I can relate so much to the times when I thought I had to just give and give and give and never receive. My child became my first focus and by putting him above myself on my priority list it became inevitable that by the time he had taken all he needed, there was nothing left for me. Yet by making an adjustment and putting myself first, I could satisfy my own needs quite quickly and by doing so have more to give him. By filling myself up first I was not running on empty serving him.

Does this sound selfish to you? My view is that it is more selfish to give others less than who you really are, and what you are really capable of. What do we teach our children by putting others before ourselves and what will they grow up to believe they must do themselves?

Fill yourself up first before you give. Then teach others to do the same.

With love and gratitude

Nadine.
Founder & CEO, The Autism Directory
Professional Coach to Parents of a Child with Autism

Change Your Life Forever. Click here to find out how you can spend some private time with Nadine.

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